Eddie's journal, March 5th, 2010 9.53am

pre-enlistment plan, phase 1, movement A:

its official. i failed my pilot compass test.

so now will have to wait for my WSO FTR.

did apply for C3 and UAV.


will have to see how it goes.
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pre-enlistment plan, phase 1, movement B:

so i have finally gotten the campfire committee moving.

the force needed is huge.

but the inertial of the committee is also hard to overcome.

momentum now lies with the new appointed chairman.

and momentum seems to be losing to friction now.
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pre-enlistment plan, phase 2:

today finished a 4D3N chalet.

a big thank you to all who came.
and a big question mark for all those who said coming but didn't show, didn't call, didn't sms.

and some that i expected to come.


no matter. its over. can make up for it though. when i am able to book out on weekends.
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pre-enlistment plan, penultimate phase:

its clear to me now.

thanks for helping me to clear things.

you haven hurt me. no not so easily. merely rejected.

why?

cos I'm not sure if i can take hurt anymore.

there is no room in me for hurt anymore.

so for now i cant take the hurt, i cant take the sad, i cant take the hate.

they will remain in me for too long. far too long.

so I'll have rejected instead of hurt, depressed instead of sad, anger instead of hate.

just the good, the bad and the ugly.

and then I'll keep functioning, keep fighting.

cos there are things that still needs me functioning to progress.

till we meet again. by then I'll know where to shove my feelings into.
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pre-enlistment plan, final phase:

the warrior coughs up a mouthful of blood and spit onto the ground.

his scared armour hanging uselessly on his beaten body.

slowly he starts to rip it off, the broken armour offering not more protection than his own skin.
encumbering him, denying him speed and alacrity.

stabbing his sword into the earth, he begins taking the scrap metal off him.

tearing off his mail gloves, broken gauntlets, chipped and faded pauldrons , cracked gorget the warrior rids himself of the dead weight, slowing him down dragging his feet.

he turns and eyes his sword, he would allow himself to discard his armour but his honor would now allow him to leave his sword behind.

for the sword is honor, without it he might as well die.

the monster looms over him as he withdrew his sword from the ground.

his clan might not remember him as the warrior for fighting till his last breath, but he isn't here for the glory.

he just wants to delay the monster long enough till the village can muster more warriors to fight back.

his honor demands he stand and fight, even if broken and torn as long as he still draws breathe he will have to fight.

and fight he will.

he has lived by the sword, and now in what might be the last moments of his life, his mind in great clarity, he would gladly die by the sword.
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suddenly the skies dont seem so blue blue anymore...

or was that just a passing cloud?

Eddie's journal, February 5th, 2010 9.47pm

847 points.


not easy to squeeze out of all the crappy activities you all had last year.


i had to squeeze and cheat my way out so that you all can get FCS silver.



but then i look at my campfire committee now its horrible.


ventures, scouts and guides all not communicating with each other.


why has it become like this?


is it because i try to appease everyone too much?

is it really that hard to talk with the ventures?

why is it i get more anxious and worried than my vice chairman?

what the hell are they doing?

everyone needs to start to wake up.

starting with me.


GRRRRR ENOUGH

anyone not productive im going to cut you off my campfire committee.

im not going to make people who had put in effort disappointed again.

im not going to take this bullshit anymore.


the axe is going to fall and if you are on the chopping block.

boo-fucking-hoo and too-fucking-bad.




mistake on my part does not mean that my committee aint working.


however mistake on my committee's part means i aint doing my job.


and i damn well will kick some slackers shebs now.

Eddie's journal, February 3rd, 2010 12.03pm

yesterday received Air Force Recruitment Centre's letter.



i failed my Pilot COMPASS test.

however i am asked to go take WSO FTR COMPASS tomorrow.


so i guess its still ok i think.


still will get to fly, abet not in control of the plane.
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campfire committee.

more and more tired of their whining and small little insecurities.


already told them i want 100% committed people. yet i find people giving me excuses that they have tuition during campfire meeting.

WHEN the campfire meeting date is given 1 week in advance.

honestly feel like telling them "not interested then just leave my committee la, dont waste all of our time"


as for my vice-chairman, both deserved to get hammered.

small little things cant decide. never ask for assistance or clarification also.

just anyhow whack.

now it seems as if we will no be having a meeting to let me vet through their proposals.

so be it then, if you all screw up remember you guys are the one that dont want to work with me.

im already sick and tired of pleasing everyone. if you all cant decide i'll decide for you all.

i dont care if i have to step on peoples pride or break their puny brittle hearts, as long as the job gets done i dont really give a damn.
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once again we have reached this place.

the lies of trust have all burned away with the trials of fire.


you have once again started to betray me, plotting against me behind my back, whispering lies about me.


and you wonder why i dont completely trust you.

you of all people who i defended, you of all people who i give a benefit of the doubt.

and now you about face and threaten my place in the kingdom.


you are wrong.


2 can play this game. it could be a life or death ending.


but since i dont have the luxury of time to play with you, i'll fold.


YOU WANT THE CONN???

you have the conn.

take it, and then drown with it.


i fold, but it does not mean i'll make life easier for you.