Eddie's journal, September 13th, 2009 12.45 am

im back. as usual. haven been here long and this place reeks of dust. too long since i last updated. seems like no one misses me.

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what ive feared most has happened. no one seems to notice it happening. no one seems to care. no one but me.

seems to me that the thing im talking about is dying and all i can do is wipe random flecks of blood of his lips.

disappointing.

perhaps its me. i have imposed too much of my own self on them. so now im backing off. leaving them to their own devices. hope everything works out for them. really.

you ask what happened to the perfect dream? well. it came true. you're looking right at it.

one day all the mess will froth up and mire you down, you'll look up and shout "help me". i'll just look down and whisper "no..."

semper fi my friends.

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mom. just recovered from some stomach flu or food poisoning. already have plenty of energy to PMS about small shit. cant stand her. she have a bloody bad attitude but at the end she just means well. but the way she speaks makes me wanna shove something down her throat just to shut her up.

thats mom i guess. cant live with her, cant live without her. have better heed her words now or would miss her sorely later.

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sometimes i ask myself why. why do i always demand so much out of everything or everyone. like why i demand so much out of my scouts.

i feel that its just me. i always wanted things from young. and will stop at nothing if i really want them.

so that could be a reason why i demand so much. not a good habit. should kick it. probably will take ages.

the eczema it getting worst on both my hands. anyone got good skin docs to recommend? mom was especially PMS-ing about it just now.

bye for now.