Eddie's journal, September 25th, 2009 2.11 am

wow. first back-to-back blog post in a long long time.

after visiting the T2 outlet just now. doubts racked my mind. rankling its chains. spreading confusion around. conflicting with my thoughts and my feelings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

lets not kid myself. yes i have to admit that joanne looks nice. and I'm having thoughts about going back Sakae to work again.

but at the same time. i already had commitments to my scout group.

by now you should know i do my scouts. not just simply because i had promised. or because i have to do it.

its because i like it. its because i want it. its those reason, some unable to be put into words now that makes me go back time, after time, after time.

but then now. there are things that make me feel as if I'm wasting my time on it.

and then there are also things that scouts cant provide me with.

things like a source of income. a chance at romance again.

however i have already promised that i would take care of my scouts properly.

and i have my loyalties with my scout group.

so now I'm stuck.

and i have to make an ultimate choice soon.

to be a man of my word.

or to me a realistic man.