BF2142 Stats ELFH

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 29th April 2009, 9.00 pm

ok lets keep this shit short and sweet.

first off computers. ive got a dead desktop lying in my room for 3 years.for 3 fucking years u 2 did nothing to help me get it back to working condition.

now sis has gone into JC and u want me to fix it?



u guys have to the cash. the capabilities to sent her for OBS Sabah. or overseas learning trip.


now u guys dont have to capabilities to get her a laptop?


WHAT THE FUCK MAN?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

U GUYS TRYING TO TELL ME SHES MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?


why is it everytime she needs something or she wants something she always gets it?

WHY?

why is it that everything i have to be in dire situation. then u guys listen to me?

WHY?


who was it that scored 5 bonus points for his CCA of his 'O' Levels? ME

who was it that has 2 awards for his CCA in sec school? ME


THEN WHY AM I ALWAYS RELEGATED TO SECOND PLACE?

WHY?



fuck this shit...

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 26th April 2009, 2.30 am

dont seem tired.


perhaps is cos of some things related to heart. perhaps is just that i have nothing to occupy my empty mind now.


ytd went to collect a prize from MJR. Friends of Manjusri. received a plague. not very useful though imho.


QY. your birthday coming soon. 27th of May. hope u can make it on 26th. just going to get you a simple present.


FYP has got 3 more weeks left. progress thus far i'd say 70% at most. still have to throw in a random function. now everyday when i enter the lab i look forward to going out. should reformat that line of thought.


next 3 weeks on sat will be very empty of activities. sec school having MYE. all CCAs on hold. meaning no scouts meeting for 3 weeks. 3 weeks to get my uniform done nicely. still haven got around to putting my nametag onto my uniform.


anyway congrats to TW. got ur woodbagde alrdy. nice one dude. wanted to get one but will have to see how. might not have time to commit.


was thinking perhaps its time to setup our campfire committee for next years campfire. will have to put more thought and action behind the scenes. alot. cos it coincides with 100 years of scouting in SG next year.Coincidence as our theme next campfire? hmm. need flow of ideas.


looking forward to the abseilling session in MJR in a few weeks time.then have a legimitate reason to throw myself off a building and let gravity do the work.


sat no activities means might end up committing more time to Sakae T2. dunno if it will be good or bad.standard has been dropping. no more up to std svc crew left. not so good relations with quite alot of people there. perhaps its time to go? hmm. illusions perhaps.


arriving at problems. things on the venture front dont seem so good either. but im not to judge. perhaps we all should take a different approach to things? just an observation.


scouts side things are shaping up nicely. new SPL new PLC. almost self-run. almost. perhaps i should point out a flaw in our system. we built then system to be self-sustained. so that in the event that no one comes back and help out. they can still continue. flaw is. if we were to let them loose too much. then we ourselves as leaders our power will diminish. hence forth from time to time we have to grab the reins back and do somethings ourselves. but thats how i perceive the system now. go draw your own conclusions.


hmm. just yesterday Mr Khaw commented to me. the scouts enjoy being punished by me. i wonder if its a good thing or a bad thing. i saw for myself ytd. they dont seem to listen when i talk to them in a normal tone. i'll have to scream at them then they'll get it that im serious. will have to work on that.


feels alittle weird for my blog entries to be so shallow and not about my own emotions. hmm. perhaps its cos im not thinking of my personal thing for the moment? but then again not alot of things are happening to me now so nothing much to talk now.ha.


ok better finish off at a high note. before my "mood-swing" comes again.lol. anyway gotta work at 11 am.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 15th April 2009, 1.30pm

post mid-project presentation.


super angry.df DMD. keep arguing when we ask to change graphics.



why cant she just suck it up??? everyones had it tough.endure alittle of hardship wont hurt anymore than it does now.plus im sure the working world would be quite similar so are you just going to argue with ur future boss???




frac.pissed off with her.sick of quarrelling with her.just going to do and see what happens.should have been desginer and programmer both compromising alittle and in the end its us programmers giving and shes just taking it all.


frac, frac, frac.


plus our minigame 3 idea the dmd indie marker said was too simple but our programmer indie maker said it was ok. we asked her to go tell her sup the difference and she just said that the indie markers said it was too simple. and now we have to rethink the idea again.



FRAC.




at night went to le part with frens.weird moments.overall today was a okok bodering on bad outing.shall not go into details.complicated.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 7th April 2009, 11.50am

something made me rewatch code geass R2 again.


still cried even when i watched it the second time.


lelouch centered all the hate to himself.


all the pain.suffering.anger.hate.


all upon himself. hes killed his own parents.his cousin who was his first love.

betrayed millions upon millions of people.

yet beneath all the vile things he did.he still tried to protect those around him.

kallen, suzaku, his brother Schneizel ,his sister Nunnally.

true to his word he created a world where his sister could live in happily.

he did it at the cost of his own life.

for all the things he'd done.people hated him for that.he made it so that all the blame would be placed on himself.

and then he plotted his own death. by having his best friend kill him.


for all the things he'd done.for all the sins he was to commit. he was alone.

he had no one to turn to. no one to confess his sadness about doing what hes done to.


cos no one would understand.


the only one who understood was C.C.


and she was his only console through out the whole series.

and at the end. almost everyone that hes hurt forgives him.

kallen did.so did Shirley.even his fake brother Rolo save Lelouch from being killed.


he lied to all those who would forgive him later after he dies.


he lied to the whole world and in the end they somehow forgave him.they reaped the fruits of his labor. his sacrifice.


living is a lie.we all have to put on our masks when we interact socially. we lie abt things.

mundane things.hurtful things.meaningless things.

things that we thought would make people feel better.

things that we thought would make the world better.

things that we thought that it would make our own current situation better.


for Lelouch.end justifies its means.



he sacrificed his own love. his own emotions.his own feelings. inorder to destroy the world and recreate it.


and at the end all he has is nothing. zero.his dark secret can never come to light.for no one would understand. no one could feel or be what hes been through.yet all would openly condemn him for his actions.


i'd like think that hes still alive in the end.

Friday, 3 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 3rd April 2009, 10.20pm

crappy day.


absolutely crappy beyond words.


first i was late.


then project had to almost redo close to 65%.


not to mention the MCQ questions that my DMD came out with was fracing crappy.



then i went AWOL. to go back to my scouts. but ended u being late there as well.

frac.

i have single handedly butchered my own FYP grades.


feel so bad to let my another teammate tank all the damage.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Eddie's Journal, 1st April 2009, 2.30pm

PES D.

cant believe it. MO have to wait for my kidneys report from SGH. funny thing is the slip indicator didnt reflect my condition.

maybe my condition isnt as bad as i think it is.was.


5th week of FYP. bogged down. stuck on some stuff. didnt get in for mission darkstar. no matter.


DMD still a headache. thinks that she is too childish. keep drawing weird images for game. thinks that its totally inappropriate for game.

she still dont get our idea i think. still drawing those puke-able images. absolutely hate the things she draw. approach her and she keeps arguing.

cant stand her. wait for next week see what my sups say.